Slogan4u, You Can Live Without It

Happy New Year!

I've never written a new year blog post before, mainly because this is the first new year since I started keeping a blog. (I don't know if ‘keeping’ is the proper verb but I'm sticking with it) I thought about jumping on the usual “lists of the best and worst stuff this year” bandwagon but I find that kind of thing difficult, I don’t keep track of that stuff throughout the year so I’d only write a list and then realise it’s bollocks in a couple of days. Instead I found this list of new year blog post suggestions so I’m going to try and cover them all.

1 - Send holiday greetings to your readers in a blog post.

See above.

2 – What can your blog readers look forward to this year? Summarize what you’ll be writing about (or hope to be writing about) in the coming months.

Difficult to say, I mostly make this shit up on the spot so there's likely to be a lot of random nonsense. Aside from that, every month I'll be posting another page of The Girl Who Makes It Rain, and I'm planning to launch RePresented, a new podcast about books, later this month. ("planning") 

3 – How can you help your readers reach their New Year’s goals?

I probably can't (I’m also not assuming that I have readers, or that the ones I do have have New Year's goals) 

4 – This is typically a slow news time. What news can you announce on your blog and in a press release?

I didn't plan these answers very well, see 2.

5 - Talk about some of the lessons you learned or things you enjoyed on your holiday vacation.

I didn't take a holiday, I was working on stuff. I'm on a train going to visit some family while I'm writing this, though, so I guess my holiday vacation is just starting, maybe I'll update this if I learn any lessons or enjoy anything. 

6 – Did you take pictures from you office holiday party? Post them with fun captions.

I didn't go to any work parties, so no.

7 – Industry outlook. What are other industry leaders predicting for your sector this year? What do you predict?

I'm not really sure what my sector is these days, I guess theatre but only because people won't pay me for anything else. I don't know what industry leaders are saying about the theatre world, I don't tuned to pay attention to them. I predict there'll be lot of cool new bits of technology that we can use to make our shows more spectacular, which doesn't matter because everyone is poor and depressed so they don't really fancy a trip to the theatre. Thanks government.

8 – Pick a charity to support throughout the year. Set up a fundraising campaign on FirstGiving.com. Announce your campaign on your blog.

I haven't done this. I'm ambivalent about giving to charity. I understand the urge to do what you can to help those in need but I'm also of the opinion that taking care of those in need is the job of the state, (by which I mean all of us collectively, not a bunch of shady types in trench coats) and when we, as individuals, give to charities we absolve the state of its responsibilities. Having said that, when the state is led by ass hats.... I don't know what to do about it. It's one of a number of issues. 

9 – It’s Cervical Health Awareness Month, Glaucoma Awareness Month, National Birth Defects Prevention Month, National Blood Donor Month, and Thyroid Awareness Month. Do any of these health issues resonate with you? Talk about it.

I'm aware of all of these issues. I'm not any more educated about them but maybe that'll change. Giving blood is cool, it's free, it saves lives, you get free biscuits, getting drunk when you're down a pint of plasma is great fun. Go give some blood! 

10 – Book review. Tell your readers about the best book you’ve read lately. What lessons can they apply to their business?

I read a graphic novel called March. It's about (and written by) a guy called John Lewis who was involved in the civil rights movement in the US. He was a non-violent activist, hung out with Martin Luther King, and generally seems to have been an all round ace dude. (I’d seem pretty all round amazing too if I wrote a book about myself) If you have a business and want a lesson to apply to it, it’s this: Don’t be a racist fuck head.

11 – Sign up for Google Alerts. Enter key terms relevant to your readers. Write a round-up summarizing what you see in your weekly or daily summary.

AAAAA-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Fuck off!

12 – What’s the weather been like in your area or around the world? How has that impacted your business?

It’s been colder than usual but I haven’t seen any snow. It has not impacted me at all except my heating bills are a little higher.

13 – Publish a Q&A of a business leader.

No

14 – Write 10 actionable tips that will help your readers do something better.

1. Stop reading this.
2-10. Go and do something useful.

15 – Join a new social networking site. Ask your visitors to join you there.

See 13. (scratch that, see 11)

16 – Write a guest blog post for a colleague’s blog. Put together a short summary of that post and publish it on your own blog.

I don’t have any colleagues with blogs. Or colleagues with blogs

17 – Sometimes it helps to start a blog post with the headline or main idea. Visit Slogan4U and see what you can come up with. Of course, you should make the automatically-generated slogan better.

See the title of this post. I removed “ ‘t “to make it a better slogan”

18 – Look at your sales numbers from last year. Write a mildly “sales-y” post and publish it during your slow times. Your blog is a sales tool, but it’s not meant to be overt. Provide value to your readers and they will buy from you. Shove your marketing message down their throats and they will ignore you.

I didn’t sell anything last year. I didn’t realise the point of all this was selling shit. I don’t really have anything to sell at the moment but feel free to give me your money anyway.

19 – Take a poll. Ask your readers what they want to read about on your blog.

Well? Comments below.

20 – Write a case study highlighting your work with a client.

I don’t have client and if I did I wouldn’t have any interest in writing case studies about them.

21 – January 21st is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday. Honor it.

I will (I probably won’t) but not this week.

22 – Create a how-to. Give a step-by-step description on how to complete an important task.

1. Approach toilet.
2. Adjust toilet seat/lid as necessary.
3. Remove clothing.
4. Expell.
5. Clean orifices.
6. Replace clothing. 
7. Wash hands (optional)

23 – Visit SlideShare. Find a business presentation that resonates with you and share it on your blog.

Done.

24 – It’s Belly Laugh Day. Tell a joke.

Belly Laugh Day is on the 24th January, not now, so you don’t really deserve a joke, but there’s one I really like, so here it is:

What’s E.T. short for?

Because he’s only got wee legs.

25 – Quote of the week. Did you hear someone say something or read about someone who said something interesting or ridiculous? Share it.

I didn’t hear anything like that.

26 – Look at your blog comments. Expand on a commenter’s viewpoint in a new blog post.

Gavin commented on this blog. He was wrong. I don’t think it warrants any more expansion.

27 – What did you write about last year at this time? Revisit the topic with new insights.

Nothing.

28 – Find one of your most active Facebook postings (your original post with comments) and take a screenshot. Now post that image to your blog and extend the conversation there.

 
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9 people liked this post. It led to some heavy chat, I can tell you.

29 – Visit your competitor’s blog. What are they talking about? Challenge their ideas (politely) or commend them.

I’m pretty sure

30 – Write interview questions that you would like to ask a dead politician or celebrity. Put those questions in a post and talk about how this individual influences you.

I’ve been at this for a while now so I don’t have the energy to come up with something witty, but it should be obvious I’m not about to think up a bunch of questions or even think about who I’m not going to ask them at.

31 – Profile one of your neighbors, even if that person or business is completely unrelated to your blog.

Shut up. I’m not about to start stalking one of my neighbours!